Why Adopt Overseas?

I am often asked this question. People always want to know WHY NOT HERE? It's not that I want to ignore the orphans in our own backyard, so to speak. Not at all. At this point in our lives, we feel that God is calling us to adopt overseas. And that's not all. There is a major difference in the standard of care that an orphan in the US receives vs. the care that an orphan in, say, Eastern Europe receives. Let me give you some examples.

This is Mari. She is four years old. She appears to have severe hydrocephalus. She is an orphan in Eastern Europe, living in an orphanage, possibly an institution.


This is Sophia. I can hardly stand to look at her, such a sad situation. In the US, her cleft lip and cleft palate would have been fixed by now. But in Eastern Europe, it is often not. Some institutions will NOT tube feed. If a child that is tube fed is sent to an institution that won't tube feed (and YES, it IS done), then the child starves to death. I am completely serious.


This is Nika. She is 8 years old. This is a current photo. She weighs just 11 pounds. ELEVEN POUNDS.



This is Monroe. He is five years old. Look at that beautiful smile. Monroe has cerebral palsy. He cannot yet sit up on his own or use his arms or legs (he is pictured in an infant walker). He may have a slight cognitive delay, but is otherwise typical.



This is Natalia, the daughter of our hearts. Natalia has been in a mental institution since turning four. She is now seven years old. Since being in the mental institution, she has regressed. She is no longer walking. She no longer talks. Her only disabilities? Epilepsy and flat feet (is flat feet even a disability?!). Children with mild disabilities are THROWN AWAY because their society shuns them, much like ours did not all that long ago. Their medical care is sadly lacking.


This is Victoria. She is seven. She has arthrogryposis, which only affects her lower limbs. She was likely quite typical, cognitively, when she entered the institution. Kids with arthrogryposis usually quite smart. Victoria has likely been institutionalized since turning four and has cognitively regressed. She would do SO well in a family, getting therapy and ATTENTION. The truth is, in these kind of institutions, they don't have enough caregivers. The kids are lucky to get their basic needs met, forget about someone to take them out of their beds, get toys down for them to play with, read them a book, etc.

Right now we send money to an orphan assistance program that provides a personal caretaker for Natalia. We hope to receive information soon that will give us an idea of what exactly this caretaker does for her and how she is doing. It costs us less than $40 a month. But that's not enough. I would LOVE to bring Natalia and Victoria (they are in the same institution) home to our family. But right now we cannot adopt from Ukraine. We CAN and WILL adopt from Bulgaria. I'll admit, I am dying to know how our little girl is doing and where she is, but I haven't yet got up the guts to write our attorney (in Bulgaria, an attorney facilitates our adoption and we have the BEST one you could possibly hope for!) and ask her if she could try to find out. I guess I am chicken. I want to know, but I am afraid to find out that she is in a bad place or doing poorly. We know she is quite small for her age (although not nearly as small as sweet Nika), but we don't know if there is a reason for it. But I know what kind of institution that Natalia and Victoria are in. They have a dedicated director, but they just don't have the funding for caregivers or therapy. They do the best with what they have. But not that long ago, influenza swept through the institution and many children died. It's reported that these institutions experience deaths at a rate between 30 and 90%. I don't know where their institution lies... But even 30% is too high. Children are a gift from God, not trash.
I will admit that there are kids in the US who are treated like trash. I think that, in general, our foster care system provides a better life for these children than life in an institution. Yes, you hear the horror stories of children kept in cages and children killed, but that is the exception, not the norm. In Eastern Europe, these institutions are the norm, not the exception. If you want to get an idea of what institutions are like, read the book The Boy From Baby House 10.
So why do I feel so strongly about adopting overseas? Because if Sophia had been born in America, she would have had surgery. Guess what? I have a neighbor whose child was born with that condition. Her family didn't even hesitate about getting her surgery and speech therapy- their daughter is thriving. In America, Mari would have had surgery to have a shunt placed. Guess what? My next door neighbor has a little boy who has hydrocephalus. He is a sweet, beautiful little boy and if you didn't see his surgery scars or know how old he is, you wouldn't know right away that he has special needs. He is obviously well loved and cared for. His mom takes him to his therapy appointments faithfully. I can't imagine how his life would be different if he had been born in Eastern Europe. In America, Monroe might have been given up, placed in foster care, but his foster care parent(s) would be taking him to therapies and helping him to reach his full potential. God gave us intelligence, compassion, ingenuity, skills, etc. for a reason. To help each other. To give to each other. To make the world a better place in the capacity that we can. To strive to be like Christ.
Maybe someday we will adopt domestically. Maybe not. I don't know what the future holds for us, we will go where God leads. But right now He is leading us to where our child is and she is overseas...